Our lives being impacted by COVID and public health measures to keep us safe-- keeps going on and on and on, doesn’t it? More and more therapy clients are talking about this time like being stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. The novelty of making banana bread, doing puzzles, and picking up a new hobby may have worn off. And you may be a parent on month 5 of 24/7 togetherness while trying to work, spend quality time with your kids, and not think about how many hours they are in front of the screen.
Our go-to coping may not be an option right now and its hard. The distractions and activities that were fulfilling aren’t there in the same way. Some days you can rock it and at the end of the day be proud of how you made the most of this time, while other times you feel like you barely made it through.
This is all normal for the times we are in.
The context of uncertainty can be overwhelming. Here are a few strategies to care for yourself even in the midst of these strange and difficult times.
Let yourself sit with the feelings that are less comfortable. Say something like, “I am feeling ____ right now. This situation ______. I may not always feel this way but I do right now.” Labeling and acknowledging our emotion (even quietly in our own mind) validates our internal experience and can help decrease the intensity of the emotion, and it brings clarity to what emotion is causing the thoughts, mood, and urges in the moment. It also frees you up to care for yourself with this feeling- what helps when you feel angry, hopeless, sad, irritated, bored? Do that.
If it feels like you get swept away by the intense emotion or have trouble shifting out of it- then set a timer and let yourself feel it, journal it, listen to the sad songs, complain to a housemate, be in the bad mood. When the timer is up- put on a song that feels like an opposite emotion and help transition you out of the other feelings.
Stay connected with people who know you and care for you. Do you feel like a Zoom call, Marco Polo thread, snail mail, text, or a audio phone call today? Notice what feels more invigorating for the day and reach out. Sometimes it helps to share honestly with our friend/family what we are feeling, and other days we may want to fully show up for them as a distraction to what its feeling like in our head and home. Give yourself permission to do either.
Notice what creates more positive feelings for you. Is it dancing in the kitchen to feel-good music with your family, cooking a good meal or treat, watching a funny video, liking all the 2020 memes, going for a walk, playing solitaire, sitting alone quietly, or something else? Notice what creates positive emotions and make sure to add in more of this daily. This helps replace the negative emotions and buffers you from being as vulnerable to getting stuck in more difficult emotions.
If you’re a woman who notices you want and need more skills to get through these times, consider joining my virtual group starting in September. My goal is to create a space to find comradery for these hard times, and to load you up with some new coping skills for being overwhelmed, having anxiety, or the impact of trauma symptoms. Email michelle@mend-counseling.com for more details about the Keeping It Together, Together group.
Michelle Torres
