A Holiday Reminder

A Poem for You, in This Season of So Much
Written by Annie Tam

This time of year
has a way of piling things up—
calendars, expectations,
dishes, emotions,
and that one ornament
that somehow tangles itself
no matter how carefully you put it away.

So here’s a gentle reminder
just for you:
The holidays are not a test
you can pass or fail.
There is no rubric for
“perfect joy,”
and you don’t get extra credit
for attending every event
you secretly hoped would be canceled.

You’re allowed to buy the store-bought cookies.
You’re allowed to step outside
for a breath of winter air
when the chatter gets loud.
You’re allowed to feel tender,
or tired,
or quietly proud of yourself
for making it through a moment
you would've sworn you didn't have patience for.

And if your family gathering
starts feeling like a reality show
you never auditioned for,
remember:
you can take a break,
a walk,
or a very long trip to the “forgotten” room
where the wrapping paper and nameless junk lives.

This season,
look for the pockets of wonder
that appear when you slow down—
the glow of a candle,
the softness of a blanket,
a song you haven’t heard in years,
the rare silence
that lets you notice your own heartbeat.

These small things count.
They always have.

So here is your holiday homework,
and it comes with no deadline,
no grading,
and no gold stars required:

⭐ Rest when you can.
⭐ Laugh when something is truly funny, cry whenever you need to release.
⭐ Say “no” without apologizing.
⭐ Allow joy in whatever size it arrives.
⭐ Let yourself be present for even one tiny moment that feels real.

You are doing enough.
You are enough.
And you deserve a season
with room to breathe,
to feel,
to heal,
and to simply be.

Happy Holidays—
may peace find you gently this year.

Noticing What Arises: Practicing RAIN During the Holidays

The holidays can stir up a wide range of emotions, including joy, gratitude, nostalgia, stress, or even grief. We often label these feelings as “good” or “bad,” but in reality, they’re all part of being human. One gentle way to meet whatever comes up is through the RAIN technique:

• Recognize what is happening. Pause and notice what you are thinking, feeling, or how you are acting.

• Allow the experience to be there just as it is, without trying to change or push it away. Give yourself permission without judgement, to simply be how you are.

• Investigate with interest and care. Notice how your body feels, ask yourself "why do I feel this way?" "What am I believing in this moment?" and "What do I need right now?"

• Nurture yourself with kindness and compassion. Use an affirmation, or offer yourself what you need at this moment.

This simple practice invites us to notice our inner experience without judgment.

Example: Missing a Family Member

• Recognize the ache of missing them. I'm feeling disconnected and sad during this family tradition.

• Allow it—give yourself permission to feel the grief without labeling it as negative.

• Investigate gently—what’s beneath the sadness? What do I need right now?

• Nurture—comfort yourself with kindness, perhaps lighting a candle, looking at a photo, or simply saying, “It’s okay to miss them." Take a break to do what you need in that moment.

By practicing RAIN, we learn to hold space for all that the holidays bring with compassion and curiosity. If this resonates, it may be something to gently explore in your own reflection or with your therapist.

- Sarah Watts, M.S., LPC, PMH-C

Settling Into Fall: Creating Rhythms That Support Balance and Well-Being

As the air cools and the days grow shorter, October invites us to slow down and settle into new rhythms. The rush of back-to-school season has passed, and many of us are finally catching our breath - adjusting to new routines, schedules, and responsibilities.

This time of year can be grounding and comforting, but it can also reveal the cracks in our balance. Maybe the habits we hoped to start in September have slipped, or the pace still feels overwhelming. The good news? Fall is the perfect season to realign and create steadier routines that nurture both productivity and peace of mind.

1. Begin Your Day with Intention

Now that mornings are a little cooler, they offer a natural moment to slow down. You don’t need an elaborate ritual - even five quiet minutes can anchor you for the day ahead. Try:

●      Enjoying your coffee or tea without screens

●      Stretching, journaling, or deep breathing

●      Setting one small intention for the day

Consistency matters more than perfection. These simple rituals remind your nervous system that you’re safe, grounded, and ready to move through your day with steadiness.

2. Prioritize Rest and Restoration

With darker evenings and cooler nights, nature itself is encouraging rest. Listen to that rhythm. Try creating a “wind-down” routine - dim lights, limit screens, and let your body know it’s time to slow down. Quality sleep isn’t a luxury. It’s essential for focus, mood, and emotional balance.

3. Keep Movement in the Mix

As daylight fades earlier, it’s easy to stay indoors, but movement remains one of the most powerful tools for mental health. Whether it’s a walk under the changing leaves, stretching between meetings, or a quick dance break in your kitchen, small bursts of movement help reset both energy and mood.

4. Stay Connected

The transition into fall can sometimes bring a subtle sense of isolation as schedules fill up and daylight wanes. Make intentional time for connection - a call with a friend, dinner with family, or even a text check-in. Our nervous systems thrive on relationships and warmth.

5. Let Your Routines Evolve

As you settle into the season, notice what’s working and what’s not. Routines are meant to support you, not restrict you. Give yourself permission to adjust and find rhythms that truly feel sustainable.

A Gentle Reminder

Fall invites reflection and recalibration. It’s a chance to gather yourself before the year’s final stretch. By creating small, intentional habits, you’re not just staying organized, you’re caring for your whole self: mind, body, and spirit.

So as you settle into October, take a deep breath and ask yourself:
What rhythm feels nourishing right now, and how can I make space for it this season?
Michelle Randall, Graduate Intern Supervised by Morton Nixcon

Michelle,  sees ages 14+ and specializes in: Mindset Coaching · Faith Integration · Athletes/Performers · Young Adult Issues · Inner Child Work

Michelle is currently accepting new clients, reach out today to get scheduled.

Phone: 469.801.9055

Email: info@mend-counseling.com

Back To School

September often feels like both a beginning and an ending. The freedom and lightness of summer fade, and the pace of life quickens with school drop-offs, extracurricular activities, and shifting family routines. For many, this season stirs up mixed emotions: grief for the ease of summer days, stress from busier schedules, and excitement for the structure and new opportunities that come with routine. Parents may also feel the bittersweet pull of watching children grow more independent, step into new stages of learning, and rely a little less on home—something that can bring pride and joy, but also a sense of loss. These emotional layers are normal, but they can easily leave us stretched thin if we don’t take time to care for ourselves. That’s why this transition is an important moment to re-ground in practices that support mental health and well-being. A few practical ways to stay steady this month include:

• Name your feelings. Acknowledge what you’re experiencing—whether it’s grief, overwhelm, relief, or joy. Naming emotions helps reduce stress and gives them healthy space.

• Re-establish personal rhythms. Prioritize consistent sleep, nourishing meals, and gentle movement that restore your energy.

• Build in small pauses. Even five minutes of deep breathing, journaling, or a walk outside can reset your nervous system and improve focus.

• Stay connected. Share your experience with a trusted friend, partner, or support group—connection helps us feel less alone in the ups and downs.

• Practice self-compassion. Remember that it’s okay if not everything gets done perfectly; giving yourself grace eases the pressure of busy days.

When we intentionally care for ourselves alongside our families, we move through September not just surviving the transition but feeling more present, grounded, and ready to embrace the season ahead.

The Power of Play: A Therapeutic Approach for All Ages

This month, we're exploring the incredible power of play therapy – a deeply effective and often misunderstood therapeutic tool. When we think of therapy, many of us picture traditional talk therapy, but for some, especially when navigating complex emotions or difficult experiences, finding the right words can feel impossible. This is where play therapy shines. It offers a unique and developmentally appropriate way to express feelings, not just for children, but for adolescents and adults too. By providing a bridge – a wide array of toys and creative materials – play therapy helps to alleviate the discomfort that can sometimes arise in direct conversation. Clients can use these tools to act out, symbolize, and work through their emotions, allowing for a broader spectrum of expression than words alone might permit. This process isn't just about fun; it engages different parts of the brain, helping to organize thoughts, process experiences, and develop coping mechanisms without the pressure of verbal articulation. While play therapy can be effective as soon as a child develops imaginative play, typically around ages 2-2.5, its benefits extend far beyond childhood. It offers a potent avenue for communication that many of us, as we've aged, may have inadvertently set aside. It's a reminder that sometimes, the most profound healing happens not through talking, but through playing.

Warmly,

Gracie Donnell, MS, LPC-Associate

Supervised by Dr. Audrey Robinson, PhD, LPC-S, Certified-CCPT, CSC

Navigating Grief: A Guide For Caregivers

The Mend Counseling Team offers our deepest sympathy to everyone affected by the flooding in central Texas. We are heartbroken to watch the devastation the flood has caused family, friends, and clients and stand beside you with empathy and prayers. As you navigate the waves of grief, Mend is here to support you in every way we can, today and in the days ahead.

Below are some ways to support your child through this difficult time.

1. Allow Child-Led Processing & Open Expression

• As your child is ready, allow space for them to ask questions and process. Let them lead the conversation. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers.

• Provide alternative outlets for processing: drawing, writing, music, or creating a memory box with photos or mementos.

2. Validate Feelings

• Acknowledge the loss, no matter how small or big the child views it. Saying, “I know this is really sad and confusing,” helps normalize emotions.

• Let them know all grief is valid, whether they feel angry, sad, numb, or even guilty.

3. Use Age-Appropriate language and Resources

• Make sure to speak about death concretely, avoiding euphemisms. “When you die, your heart stops and your body stops working. You don't eat or breathe.” It can be difficult for parents to talk like this but is important for children’s understanding.

• For younger children, use children’s grief books (resources below) or rituals (like lighting a candle, prayer, or a farewell ceremony).

• Older children might benefit from journaling or therapeutic worksheets (below and in our resources section) that help process complex emotions.

4. Maintain Routine & Predictability

• Grief can disrupt sleep, appetite, and concentration. Consistency in daily life—meals, bath time, bedtime, etc.—is soothing.

• Allow extra time in your schedule to accommodate when feelings arise so they can be given appropriate space without rushing.

5. Foster Social & Emotional Support

• Family and trusted friends can listen, share memories, or show affection.

• Allow them to spend time and connect with friends—grieving with peers creates community and understanding.

6. Model Healthy Coping

• Parents experiencing their own grief: show vulnerability (“I miss them too”) and healthy strategies—talking, walking, crying.

• Take care of yourself. As a caregiver, you are going through so much too. Accept support and give yourself space to process.

7. Watch for Warning Signs

• Persistent withdrawal, irritability, declining sleep or expressing hopelessness means it’s time to seek help.

• A mental health professional can offer tailored tools for healing.

8. Honor & Remember

• Plant a tree, create an art piece, or contribute to a cause in the friend’s name—it gives kids a sense of legacy and purpose.

• Having an ongoing ritual, like lighting a candle on birthdays or anniversaries, helps keep the memory alive.

Here are a few resources for you, your child, and teen:

Books:

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst

The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland

Dino Tales: Life Guides for Families When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown

Everywhere, Still: A Book about Loss, Grief, and the Way Love Continues by MH Clark

Why Do Things Die? by Katie Daynes

How Do We Tell the Children? Fourth Edition: A Step-by-Step Guide for Helping Children and Teens Cope When Someone Dies by Dan Schaefer and Christine Lyons

It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine

Journal:

How I Feel: Grief Journal for Kids: Guided Prompts to Explore Your Feelings and Find Peace by Mia Roldan LCSW, LCDC

Workbook:

The Invisible String Workbook: Creative Activities to Comfort, Calm, and Connect by Patrice Karst and Dana Wyss

Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas by Alan D Wolfelt PhD

Social Media:

National Alliance For Children’s Grief: @childrengrieve

Sissy Goff: @sissygoff

Grief Kid: @griefkid

Links:

The Warm Place

https://www.thewarmplace.org/talking-children-tragedy/

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/traumatic-grief

Daily Creativity for Adults

As a busy adult, finding time or resources to start a creative pursuit can feel overwhelming. However, incorporating creativity into your daily routine doesn’t require expensive materials or endless free time. Even simple creative activities can generate lasting mental health benefits. Regular creative engagement can enhance cognitive functioning, reduce stress, boost your mood, and invite more joy into your life.

Here are some creative activities you can try:
1. Mandala Coloring: Go to https://mondaymandala.com/m/ and print out some mandals that resonate with you. Spend 5 minutes a day coloring the mandala section by section. Use this opportunity to focus on the shapes in the mandala, the colors of your pencils, the weight of the pencil in your hand, and your steady breathing. This is a great activity to ground yourself after a busy day of work.
2. Playlist: Create different playlists for different activities. Perhaps you create an energizing playlist for your workout or drive to work, and a
calming one to listen to before bed.
3. Redecorate: Find a bookcase or corner of your home that could use some attention. Spend 5 or 10 minutes rearranging your knick knacks and books. It’s nice to take some time to appreciate and admire the treasures we display in our homes.
4. Write A Letter: Find connection with others by writing a letter that lets your friends or loved ones know you are thinking about them. Rather than relying on a phone call or text, we are taking this opportunity to engage with others creatively. Decorate your card with a little sketch or stickers to give it some flare!
5. Curiosity List: Everyone has moments of curiosity, like when you wonder what causes the colors of the sunset to change or how different types of music affect the brain’s activity. Write these curiosities down in your journal and find 5 minutes each day to research one!
6. Crochet, Knit, or Sew: These hands-on activities encourage mindfulness by focusing attention on repetitive motions, helping to quiet anxious thoughts and reduce stress.
7. Vision Board: Make a physical or digital collage of your dreams and goals!
8. Affirmation Mirror: Decorate your mirror with sticky notes of different affirmations like "I am worthy of love, respect, and kindness."
9. Floral Arrangements: Grab some flowers from the store or pick some wildflowers and create a unique floral arrangement!
10. New Recipe: Trying out a new recipe can be a delicious and fun way to switch up your routine!

- Adrianna Bourland, LPC
Adrianna has availability, sees Ages 3+, and specializes in Expressive Arts, Neurodivergence, Parenting Support, Trauma, Children’s Social Skills Groups.

Incorporate Mindful Mantras Into Your Daily Routines This Spring

As spring can bring refresh, it can also be a busy season of transition. You may be feeling a bit overwhelmed. Read along for a helpful tip about the benefits of incorporating mindful mantras into your daily routine to reduce anxiety and remain in the present moment:

If you ever find yourself feeling overwhelmed and not sure how to cope, incorporating mantras or affirmations into your routine can be a helpful practice. Mantras are short phrases, words, or affirmations that someone repeats to themselves in the practice of mindfulness or meditation. Mantra meditations have been used for thousands of years, tracing back to Buddist and Hinduist traditions. While most traditional mantras may be in Sanskrit, the modern practice can be adapted to repeating a phrase, prayer, or affirmation to help with anxiety, depression, or other feelings. It’s important to choose something that fits with your own belief system, so that you can make the practice fit for you.

Take for example a time when you felt anxious, overwhelmed, or angry about something and tried to tell yourself: “There’s nothing to worry about, you’re fine! Get over it, you’re going to be okay!”. However, trying to use logic to calm yourself down may actually have the opposite effect because the feeling part of our brain/body is what is feeling activated and needs help regulating, rather than the thinking brain. Rather than validating your feelings, using statements like these can be dismissive.

Instead, it can be helpful to try using a mantra to encourage yourself, such as “It’s okay to feel worried”, “Right now I feel overwhelmed, but this won’t last forever”, or “This is temporary”. Try repeating one of these phrases to yourself while you take some slow, deep breaths. This practice can make you feel validated and grounded, rather than dismissed.

By taking the time to validate our fears and concerns rather than dismiss them, we provide comfort to our nervous system that allows us to feel grounded and begin to calm down. Connecting to the feeling can also help us feel less alone or threatened, and the repetitive process of breathing and using a mantra can calm your body and mind.

- Sarah Watts, LPC

Cultivating Self-Love, Self-Care, and Meaningful Connections: A Path to Inner Peace and Fulfillment

In today’s fast-paced world, it's easy to overlook the importance of nurturing our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. However, fostering a deep sense of self-love and practicing self-care are essential foundations for creating meaningful connections—with ourselves and others. By investing in these practices, we pave the way for a life that is not only balanced but also filled with authenticity, compassion, and resilience.

1. Self-Love: The Foundation of Inner Harmony

Self-love is not just a buzzword; it’s a transformative practice that allows us to embrace who we are—imperfections and all. It goes beyond vanity or surface-level care; self-love is about recognizing your intrinsic worth and treating yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a loved one.

Why is Self-Love Important?

Self-love helps build emotional resilience, reduces stress, and fosters a healthy mindset. When we love ourselves, we are better able to handle life’s challenges, because we aren’t relying on external validation for our sense of self-worth. This inner foundation of acceptance is crucial for mental and emotional well-being.

How to Practice Self-Love:

●       Positive Affirmations: Speak kindly to yourself. Replace self-criticism with affirmations that celebrate your uniqueness.

●       Forgiveness: Let go of past mistakes and be gentle with yourself. Mistakes are part of growth.

●       Setting Boundaries: Recognize your limits and learn to say no without guilt, ensuring that you prioritize your needs.

2. Self-Care: Nourishing the Mind, Body, and Soul

While self-love is an internal state, self-care is the active practice of honoring that love through daily actions that promote your well-being. It’s about giving yourself permission to rest, rejuvenate, and engage in activities that bring joy and balance.

The Importance of Self-Care:

Self-care is vital for maintaining physical health, emotional stability, and mental clarity. It can take many forms—from a quiet moment of meditation to a day spent in nature, or even a simple hot bath. By carving out time for ourselves, we send a powerful message that our needs matter.

How to Implement Self-Care:

●       Physical Health: Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and healthy nutrition are essential to keep your body functioning at its best.

●       Mental Health: Engage in mindfulness practices, journaling, or therapy to process emotions and manage stress.

●       Emotional Health: Do activities that bring you joy, like spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying solitude.

3. Connection to Self: Embracing Your Authenticity

To build meaningful connections with others, it’s essential to first connect with yourself. When you understand who you are, your values, desires, and limitations, you create a sense of clarity that empowers your interactions with others. Self-connection is about developing an honest relationship with yourself, acknowledging your needs, and respecting your individuality.

How to Foster Connection with Yourself:

●       Mindfulness and Reflection: Spend time in quiet reflection. Meditation, journaling, or even long walks can provide insights into your inner world.

●       Self-Awareness: Regularly check in with yourself to assess your emotions and needs. Are you honoring your true desires or conforming to others’ expectations?

●       Authentic Expression: Allow yourself to express your thoughts, feelings, and creativity without fear of judgment.

4. Connection to Others: Building Healthy, Supportive Relationships

When we are aligned with ourselves—when we understand our worth, practice self-care, and live authentically—we can create deep, meaningful connections with others. True connection is based on mutual respect, compassion, and understanding.

Why Connection with Others Matters:

Meaningful relationships are vital for emotional support, personal growth, and shared experiences. Being connected to others helps reduce feelings of isolation and strengthens our sense of belonging. Moreover, healthy relationships offer opportunities for empathy, growth, and mutual healing.

How to Cultivate Healthy Relationships:

●       Authenticity: Just as you embrace your true self, encourage others to do the same. When both parties feel accepted and understood, a deeper bond forms.

●       Vulnerability: Opening up and sharing your fears, dreams, and challenges can foster trust and intimacy in relationships.

●       Mutual Respect: Healthy relationships are built on respecting each other’s boundaries, needs, and differences. Communicate openly and honestly to maintain harmony.

Self-love, self-care, and connection are not isolated concepts; they are deeply intertwined. When we nurture ourselves, we create the capacity to connect with others in meaningful ways. By cultivating inner peace, we invite harmony into our relationships, strengthening the bonds that tie us to the world around us. Ultimately, the journey toward self-love and self-care is not just about personal growth—it’s about enriching the collective human experience.

-Kelly Feddern, LCSW

Tips On Setting Boundaries & Saying No

I've struggled with people pleasing my entire life. It's part of my personality as an ENFP to want to say yes to everyone. I absolutely love making people happy (good thing since I'm a counselor!) but even to the point that I am hurt in the process. It hasn't been until the last ten years though that I've realized just how damaging saying yes to everyone and everything truly is. I can't possibly be and do everything that is asked of me. It's positively silly that I ever thought I could. I mean, I'm not God, right?! The fact that I think sometimes that I have to do something or else it will all fall apart is just pure vanity! A lot of that comes from my need to control things, which is a whole other post that I will leave for another day.

Let's look at some of the many reasons why people have a hard time saying no:

1. They are afraid of what the other person will think of them.

2. They need to be in control.

3. They will feel guilty if they don't say yes.

4. They are afraid of being called selfish.

5. They are conflict avoidant.

6. They feel responsible.

7. They feel like it's the "Christian" thing to do.

8. They like the attention and praise.

9. They please others to feel good about themselves.

10.They please others to feel loved.

Have you felt any of these? I know I sure have. And I know they're not a good reason to say yes, but, what can you do about it?

Here are some steps I use for myself and my clients who struggle with people-pleasing.

Step 1: Don't give an answer right away. Tell them that you need to think about it, pray about it or take a look at your calendar before you decide whether it's something you can or should do right now. This is one of the most effective ways to start getting your people-pleasing under control. Plus, it gives you time to actually go through the next steps and feel better about your final decision.

Step 2: Determine the motivation. What is your motivation behind wanting to say yes? Figuring this out typically helps clear up any question. Use the checklist above to help identify any negative motivation. If your heart is truly in the right place, and you have a peace about it, then generally you will feel really good about your "yes." However, if your reason comes from a place of insecurity, fear or selfish gain, it's probably not a good reason to do something.

Step 3: Prayer. When in doubt, always pray about the situation. Ask for guidance and wisdom in what you should do. Ask the Lord for peace and confirmation. He is not a God of confusion...He wants you to have the answer and He will give it to you if you take the time to ask, read His Word and listen!

Step 4: Seek counsel. Find a friend, mentor or family member that you trust and can go to for advice and wisdom. Ask them what they think you should do or what they would do in this situation. Many times it just takes an outsider's perspective to help clear things up for you. For bigger decisions, you might consider seeking counseling. Counselors will help you become more self aware and ask questions to help you figure out what is best for you at this time.

Step 5: Find an accountability partner. Everyone needs an accountability partner in life! Find someone whom you can trust and confide in about your struggle with people-pleasing and check in with them on a weekly basis. They will help you stay on the right track, listen to you and pray for you. Warning: Choose an accountability partner who doesn't struggle with people-pleasing!! Otherwise, you won't be held accountable because they won't want to hurt your feelings by calling you out when you're not doing what you're supposed to do. This won't work well, so save yourself some time and trouble and find that friend who has no problem saying no! :)

Hopefully these steps will help you become more confident about saying NO. Boundaries are important to protect ourselves, our families and those around us. They are GOOD. I repeat, "BOUNDARIES ARE GOOD." Feel free to reach out if you need some extra help in this area or have further questions. Believe me when I say, I get it. It's no piece of cake but it is possible to overcome.

-Annie Tam, M.Ed, LPC