Setting Intentions

The start of the New Year brings so much excitement for me in dreaming about the possibilities that lie ahead. This year, I’m hopeful to get back to a more normal way of life and routine after one of the most difficult years in history. I choose to continue to practice radical acceptance knowing that I cannot change the present facts even if they’re difficult and I don’t like them, but at the same time, I hold hope that positive change will take place in the near future.

One of my favorite activities in the New Year is to set intentions. Unlike resolutions, which are short-term and goal oriented, intentions are broader and connected to personal values. It’s important to keep in mind that when setting intentions, we seek out a journey, not a destination. Below are some steps to better understand what intention setting is all about.

Step 1: Identify your values

If you haven’t ever identified your core values, I highly recommend it! I love using the list that Brene Brown provides on her website here. You can take one of the many free values inventories online such as the Life Values Inventory or Personal Values assessment. Another way to figure out your values is by looking at your mentors and asking yourself what you revere about them.

Step 2: Set an intention for each of your core values

 Let’s say that one of your core values is health. An intention could be to lower your stress levels. If a core value is family, maybe you set an intention to be more present with your children. If a value is growth, you can set an intention to increase self awareness.

Step 3: Get specific about ways to achieve that intention

So, if your value is health and your intention is to lower your stress levels, you can begin by creating a self care plan. For the intention of being more present with your children, you can put your phone away for 20 minutes of undistracted engagement. For increasing self awareness, you can learn more about your enneagram number by reading “The Road Back To You”. Or, better yet, you can find a counselor or coach to support this journey! :)

Step 4: Identify how you can incorporate these efforts into your routine

 Once you create your self care plan, choose a couple items that you can easily build into your weekly routine. Don’t try to include all of the items on your plan all at once. This is a process that will evolve over time. Remember, life is a rhythm, a dance. One day yoga might work, the next day self care means resting or meditating. Maybe for the undistracted kid time, you start with 5 minutes of phoneless play time or no phones at dinner. For increasing self awareness, read a couple pages each night before bed of the book or set a regular counseling appointment with your therapist.

Step 5: Choose a focal word or phrase that connects you to your intentions

This could simply be stating your core values each morning as you breathe, “Health...Family…Growth.” Or you could breathe to the phrase “I value intentionality” each morning when you wake up. Write them down where they are visible for you and set a routine to breathe to that connection each morning before your feet hit the floor.

Don’t forget to commemorate your intentions in some form throughout the year. This could be in a journal or by creating an art piece that you add to little by little. One form is more concrete, the other abstract. Do whatever works for you and gives meaning to your sweet, intention-filled journey.

Annie Tam

Finding contentment and joy in the ordinary; the everyday routines that build the rhythms of our day adding up to a lifetime.

2021 – the year that holds much anticipation and juxtaposition to 2020. For many, 2020 was a year that embodied loneliness, hopelessness, anxiety, loss, and so much more. While ringing in a new year, it’s easy to get caught up in an overly ambitious list of goals attempting to become someone different entirely; it can be a mad dash to eliminate all that we do not want to carry with us into a new year. That sounds daunting and a bit exhausting, right? Instead of attempting to change ALL THE THINGS, what would it be like to find contentment and joy in the ordinary? Renowned researcher Brené Brown states it quite eloquently, “In this world, somehow, an ordinary life has become synonymous with a meaningless life. And so often we are missing what is truly important because we are on the quest for what is extraordinary, not understanding that in our ordinary lives, in the ordinary moments of our lives, is really where we can find the most joy.” The ordinary, simply put, is the everyday routines that build the rhythms of our day that with relationships, adventure, and experiences add up to a lifetime.

My grandmother once gifted me a large blank journal for Christmas. Inside was a sweet inscription, “Take a little time every few days to jot down the important events of your life. You will be glad that you did.” While I wish I had the ability to freeze time, the next best thing has been working to find contentment and joy in the ordinary moments. While not EVERY moment is full of joy at our home, there is much to be said for giving yourself permission to embrace the ordinary and ‘good enough’ instead of constantly chasing the extraordinary. Ultimately, striving towards this goal is an act of mindfulness, staying in the present moment. Journaling, as my grandmother so encouraged, is a great way to practice mindfulness; a way to reflect back over the day, week, month and see those magical moments that happened while we were busy living our ordinary lives.

As you look back over the past year, reflect on the prompts below to help identify the joy in the ordinary moments of your life previously overlooked. This will help you recognize where you can adjust routines and rhythms to help garner moments to cherish for a lifetime.

Where do you find joy?

What rhythms of your day bring delight?

What small moments in your week do you find yourself wishing you could freeze in time?

What rhythms of your day need adjusting?

“Sometimes,” said the horse. “Sometimes what?” asked the boy. “Sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent.” – Charlie Mackesy

Meagan Parks

The Attitude of GRATITUDE

In a year that is ending vastly different than it started, it seems that everyone has a list of grievances from 2020. It can be easy to get caught up in the echo chamber, listing one negative thing after another, and counting down the days until “all of this is over.” While it has, no doubt, been a heartbreaking year, there are ways for us to cope without simply wishing it away. Surprisingly enough, practicing gratitude in the face of our struggles helps us do just that.

GRATITUDE is a warm feeling of appreciation for goodness in the world, a person, or people. When we practice gratitude, we offer recognition, thankfulness, and acknowledgement for what we have.

Authentic gratitude does so much more than check the box of saying ‘thank you’. Research has shown practicing gratitude improves mental health by decreasing anxiety and depression, increasing optimism, and improving our ability to attain goals. It lights up the brain’s reward center, which is connected to stress relief, and it promotes relaxation. Gratitude helps us become more flexible and accepting of change. It is even associated with improved sleep and decreased physical symptoms of illness.

Have you ever found yourself hesitant to truly experience joy out of fear that something terrible would happen if you did? This is not the way the world works, but we sometimes (mistakenly) believe that if we prepare for the worst, it might somehow lessen the blow. The truth is, we are vulnerable when we are soaring, and we are vulnerable when we are struggling. Rather than compromising our chance to experience joy when it comes along, we can stop ourselves from catastrophizing and, instead, focus on gratitude.

Bestselling author, researcher and therapy goddess Brene Brown teaches that a joyful heart is connected to gratefulness. She recommends using our inner voice of fear as a signal to stop, name the things we have to be grateful for, and then use this practice as empowerment to press on.

Gratitude can be practiced in the BIG things - a promotion at work, the birth of a child, overcoming illness. But it can also be practiced in the small, day-to-day victories - green lights throughout your commute, the warmth in a fresh cup of coffee, sunshine after a rainy week. It is not about waiting for life to be perfect, but savoring the sweet moments along the way.

3 Easy Ways to Practice Gratitude:

Journal: Build a habit of listing something that you are thankful for each day. Can you think of something new each time? Putting these reflections in black and white will serve as a reminder for the long-term benefits of this practice.

Gratitude Rituals: Like a muscle, you can slowly strengthen your ability to use this skill. Work it into your daily routine by creating a special moment to pause and reflect. Try dedicating your yoga practice with a meditation, or sharing a blessing before a meal. 

Consider who you are thankful for: Then tell them! Part of gratitude is recognizing the goodness that we experience thanks to the people around us. Expressing this gratitude, verbally or with a note, shares those benefits with others.

Give it a try, and you just might find that you have more to be thankful for than you ever realized.

Jessica Stanko

Motivation During Tough Times

Okay, so all of you reading this right now in the middle of the pandemic are probably thinking, “Listen lady, I’m just trying to survive right now—not find time to grow!” So let me put your mind at ease and tell you that this isn’t about spending extra time trying to grow into a better version of yourself. It’s about taking small steps to see the growth that you are living day in and day out without realizing it. “When you go through it, you grow through it” is what I like to say.

We are living in unprecedented times. Who would have ever thought that we would be collectively going through such an incredibly stressful, isolating, unknown, and scary time this year? But, guess what? You ARE growing whether you realize it or not. If you are reading this, you can say, “I have survived another day in 2020! I may be a hot mess, but I got through it!” So, celebrate your wins. Oftentimes, our wins go unnoticed or unappreciated when in reality, we have small triumphs all throughout our day. One of those wins can simply be choosing to accept your reality versus trying to fight it.

The first step to increasing motivation is acceptance of your situation. No one can control what is happening externally. If we choose to fight our situation, that only leads to increased anxiety and frustration. It doesn’t allow us to move forward when we are fighting something that we have no control over. Thus, we remain stuck in a negative, self-defeating loop.

A great way to start your day is deep breathing followed by the Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

This pandemic, working from home, children in virtual school, not being able to travel to see your family, etc.—all of these things you cannot change. Choose to accept this and focus on the things that are within your control such as healthy sleep hygiene, exercise, nourishing your body, or getting dressed in real clothes each morning!

The second step is to acknowledge your growth. Nothing is better than recognizing your wins. Ask yourself, “What have I succeeded in today?” This could be anything from getting out of bed in the morning when your alarm goes off to taking time to do something for yourself that day. It could be making dinner for your family or getting the kids in bed on time. It could be calling a friend or family member who you have wanted to connect with to finishing a difficult task at work. You get the gist. It’s about finding ALL the things—big AND small!

Once you recognize the wins, it’s important to take a moment to be grateful for them. Say it out loud, write it down, do whatever it takes to intentionally give thanks for the victories in your life that day.

The third step is to focus on our values. When we think about what we are motivated by, it is typically closely tied to our values. If it’s not, we are probably not going to be motivated to do it. If you haven’t ever taken a moment to reflect on your individual values, give it some thought! You can take the Valued Living Questionnaire here. When we know our values, we can then identify values-action discrepancies as well as any barriers to value-based living. For instance, if you value spending time with your child, and you’re spending more quality time working than with your child, therein lies a discrepancy. You will then need to work out how to spend more quality time with your child (QUALITY NOT QUANTITY). You can ask yourself, “What is keeping me from spending quality time with him/her?” It may be that all you need to do is establish planned times where you can focus on being present and intentional with him/her for 30 minutes each day. It may be setting your phone down for 30 minutes to be more focused. Boundaries can be difficult to establish, but if setting boundaries allows you to experience quality time and fulfill that value, the motivation to set a boundary and therefore, setting the boundary, is clearer.

Acceptance, growth and values can be difficult to navigate.  Ask for support from family, friends or a counselor so that you can thrive during this time of uncertainty. Remember that it’s not about adding a bunch of growth tools but reframing and reorganizing what is already taking place.

Grace and peace to you during this time,

Annie

Annie Tam

Comradery and Strategies for Feeling Overwhelmed

Our lives being impacted by COVID and public health measures to keep us safe-- keeps going on and on and on, doesn’t it? More and more therapy clients are talking about this time like being stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. The novelty of making banana bread, doing puzzles, and picking up a new hobby may have worn off. And you may be a parent on month 5 of 24/7 togetherness while trying to work, spend quality time with your kids, and not think about how many hours they are in front of the screen.

Our go-to coping may not be an option right now and its hard. The distractions and activities that were fulfilling aren’t there in the same way. Some days you can rock it and at the end of the day be proud of how you made the most of this time, while other times you feel like you barely made it through.

This is all normal for the times we are in.​

The context of uncertainty can be overwhelming. Here are a few strategies to care for yourself even in the midst of these strange and difficult times.

1. Let yourself sit with the feelings that are less comfortable. Say something like, “I am feeling ____ right now. This situation ______. I may not always feel this way but I do right now.” Labeling and acknowledging our emotion (even quietly in our own mind) validates our internal experience and can help decrease the intensity of the emotion, and it brings clarity to what emotion is causing the thoughts, mood, and urges in the moment. It also frees you up to care for yourself with this feeling- what helps when you feel angry, hopeless, sad, irritated, bored? Do that.

   If it feels like you get swept away by the intense emotion or have trouble shifting out of it- then set a timer and let yourself feel it, journal it, listen to the sad songs, complain to a housemate, be in the bad mood. When the timer is up- put on a song that feels like an opposite emotion and help transition you out of the other feelings.

2. Stay connected with people who know you and care for you. Do you feel like a Zoom call, Marco Polo thread, snail mail, text, or a audio phone call today? Notice what feels more invigorating for the day and reach out. Sometimes it helps to share honestly with our friend/family what we are feeling, and other days we may want to fully show up for them as a distraction to what its feeling like in our head and home. Give yourself permission to do either.

3. Notice what creates more positive feelings for you. Is it dancing in the kitchen to feel-good music with your family, cooking a good meal or treat, watching a funny video, liking all the 2020 memes, going for a walk, playing solitaire, sitting alone quietly, or something else? Notice what creates positive emotions and make sure to add in more of this daily. This helps replace the negative emotions and buffers you from being as vulnerable to getting stuck in more difficult emotions.

If you’re a woman who notices you want and need more skills to get through these times, consider joining my virtual group starting in September. My goal is to create a space to find comradery for these hard times, and to load you up with some new coping skills for being overwhelmed, having anxiety, or the impact of trauma symptoms. Email michelle@mend-counseling.com​ for more details about the Keeping It Together, Together group.

Michelle Torres

ALL THINGS SELF-CARE

Mend Counseling dedicated the entire month of July to discuss ALL THINGS SELF-CARE. It is such an important topic and really an area of our lives that we need to be intentional about, especially in the midst of a global pandemic.

SO, what is self-care??

Self-care, quite simply, can be anything you do that is JUST FOR YOU. It’s your “ME TIME”. A time where you can rest, reset, and re-energize! Think of it as a time to care for yourself.

If you really think about it, from the moment we wake up in the morning, we are CONSTANTLY pouring ourselves into other areas of our lives. Our jobs, our kids, our friends, our significant others, our schedules, our responsibilities… the list goes on. It’s not out of the norm for people to forget or lose sight of the fact that WE HAVE TO FILL OUR CUP BACK UP! If we don’t, we are so much more likely to feel drained or even burned out.

Usually with busy schedules and lots of responsibilities, it can be so easy for our self-care to drop to the bottom of our priority list, but we’re going to change that and it STARTS TODAY!

When you practice self-care regularly, you are essentially prioritizing and protecting yourself, your well-being, and your happiness. In reality, no one is going to protect those things better than YOU!

Self-care can also be a great time for self-reflection. The relationship you have with yourself is an important one. We need to establish and nurture this relationship and connection, just as we do with all of the other relationships in our lives. Practicing self-care routinely can be a time that you check in with yourself and ask yourself, “how am I doing, really?”.

Now that you have a good picture of what self-care IS, let’s talk about what it is NOT.

SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH. Let me say that again for the people in the back –

SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH!!!!

This is a very common misconception that society tends to reinforce. We are all build around the premise of KEEP GOING, WORK HARD, BE PRODUCTIVE, NEVER STOP…But think of it like this… your car runs on a tank of gas. When your tank is empty, your car stops working – think of yourself in the same way.

“Self-care means giving the world the BEST of you, instead of what is LEFT of you”

I absolutely love that quote because it’s so true!!

Self-care also doesn’t HAVE to be productive. I think we are all taught to be machines where we are always pushing for goals and trying to be as productive as possible. I’m here to remind you that it is MORE than okay to have an hour, or a day, or a week to unplug and REST and reset.

Lastly, self-care shouldn’t be something that you dread doing or something that you just need to check off of your to-do list. It should be something that you genuinely enjoy doing!

Here at MEND, we have an amazing resource that we give to every client who starts the counseling process. It’s a worksheet that categorizes self-care into three different groups: MIND, BODY, and SPIRIT.

 Let’s break it down together!

MIND – after a long day of work, to-do lists, and responsibilities, it’s not uncommon for our thoughts to be all over the place. Practicing mindfulness and focusing on the present moment can be really helpful after a long day. Some great examples of self-care for your mind would be: meditation, yoga, deep breathing exercises, coloring books, or reading. Self-care will really look different for everyone, so take the time to explore what would go on your list!

BODY – body is a very important piece of self-care because our body is the machine that helps us get through the day. It is so important that we not only practice self-care on the most basic level, but also give our bodies a chance to rest and reset as well. When we talk about sticking to the basics, we mean caring for your body in the most basic way – getting enough sleep, drinking enough water, nourishing your body with nutrition, and engaging in joyful movement are great examples. Other ways to practice self-care in this category could be practicing gratitude towards your body for all that it does for us.

SPIRIT – self-care for your spirit can be anything faith based or spirituality based. It can ALSO be anything or anyone that is uplifting, encouraging, or life giving! Some examples could be, praying, listening to worship music, being outside in nature, and having good deep conversations with people you love and who care about you.

Now that we’ve gone over what self care is and isn’t, as well as examples of self-care in the 3 different categories, you might be thinking to yourself…

where do I start?

Here are some tips to get your self-care routine started!

1.     Stick to the basics – we don’t need to overthink self-care!

2.     Start out by writing out all the things that would make you feel good or bring you some peace and break them into the 3 categories: MIND, BODY, and SPIRIT

3.     Every day, schedule out a block of time (even if it’s just 5-10 minutes) for self-care

4.     Check out Pinterest for “30 day self-care challenges” to get some ideas!

5.     Let your intuition lead you… ask yourself, “what does my mind, body, or spirit NEED and WANT today?”

GOOD LUCK!!! And remember, you are SO deserving of the care that you give to others! Never forget that!

Elise Dean

What the heck is ‘Intuitive Eating’ anyway?

Well, let’s start off with what Intuitive Eating is NOT…

Intuitive Eating is NOT a diet! All too often I see people using the term “intuitive eating” to draw people in to the newest “anti-diet” diet, claiming that they lost ___ lbs following the intuitive eating principles. The intuitive eating principles aren’t meant to be used as rules to follow, but rather as guidelines to help you MEND your relationship with food.

To put thing into perspective let’s take a look at what the differences between rules, principles, and guidelines are.

o   Rules – external direction that must be followed

o   Principles – internal, fundamental ideas that govern someone’s thought or behavior

o   Guidelines – loose rules that provide direction

So what is it then?

Well, “intuitive eating” has been around since 1995, with a few updates over the past quarter of a century. Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch recently released their newest update to their book “Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach.” Let’s take a peak at each principle and dive into what each one means and how they’ve changed in the newest edition of their book.

Principle 1: Reject the Diet Mentality

This basically means that you’re saying, “forget you!” to diet culture and all that it embodies. At this point you are pissed off at all the lies that diet culture has lead you to believe. So, you’ve made the conscious decision to toss out diet books, unpin B.S. vegan/paleo/keto recipes from your Pinterest boards, un-follow diety social media accounts, smash your scale, delete tracking apps, etc. Taking this step allows you to open your mind up to the idea of intuitive eating.

***Remember: Intuitive Eating is flexible, NOT rigid! Please be mindful of diet mentality trying to turn these 10 principles into 10 rules.

Principle 2: Honor Your Hunger

Hunger is a biological and natural signal that tells our bodies when we need to eat. After all, food is fuel and we need fuel for our bodies to function. We legit have a hormone that is released called Grehlin to help us avoid famine and remind us to feed ourselves! Unfortunately, if we’ve been sucked into the diet lifestyle our hunger cues may be out of whack and not super reliable because diet culture has taught us that we can ignore hunger and if we don’t ignore it then we are weak (YIKES!).

So, what are hunger cues?

o   Stomach growling, emptiness in stomach, dizziness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, headache, fatigue, shakiness, and the list goes on.

So, if this has happened to you and you’re no longer experiencing hunger cues, then it’s important to start eating more regularly throughout the day to help get your hunger back on track so that your body can trust you and in return you can trust your body! Once your hunger cues are back and reliable, be sure to honor them and eat rather than ignoring them.

Principle 3: Make Peace with Food

Making peace with food means giving yourself unconditional permission to eat by:

o   No longer categorizing foods as “good” or “bad”

o   Eating what you really want (clears throat***honor your hunger AND cravings***cough, cough)

o   Not engaging in food ultimatums (if I eat cookies today, then tomorrow I’ll have to diet).

If we deprive ourselves of any certain foods or types of foods because they are “bad” or we “shouldn’t”, it leads to feelings of deprivation.

We want to avoid this deprivation cycle so we can trust our bodies more. In order to break this crappy cycle you’ve got to ditch your food rules and permit yourself to eat what you want, no strings attached!

Principle 4: Challenge the Food Police

The “food police” are basically people in your life, or voices in your noggin, that have dedicated their time to constantly reminding you about diet culture rules and what not.

There are “destructive voices” that leave you feeling hopeless and guilty after each interaction, but then there are also “ally voice” which help you combat diet culture.

The Destructive Voices are categorized as:

o   The Food Police – tell you if you’re ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in relation to your food choices

o   The Nutrition Informant - enforce dieting by using nutrition facts in a not so helpful way

o   The Diet Rebel – make rebellious comments about your food choices and leave you in a “oh yeah, well I’ll show you!” mood

The Ally Voices are categorized as:

o   The Food Anthropologist – make neutral, non-judgmental observations about food or eating

o   The Nurturer – provide positive self-talk about food choices

o   The Rebel Ally – protect against those voices that invade and say they know better than we do. This one is a new Ally Voice, YAY!

o   The Nutrition Ally - help you make decisions about foods that will give you energy, health, and satiety, along with satisfaction

o   The Intuitive Eater - guide you using your own wisdom to make the best decisions for your body’s needs 

***Be mindful that the Nutrition Ally and The Intuitive Eater voices can be challenging to decipher if you haven’t fully embraced the intuitive eating principles

Be on the look out for negative self-talk and when it occurs, swap it with positive self-talk!

Principle 5: Feel Your Fullness —> Principle 5: Discover the Satisfaction Factor

Feeling satisfied during and after eating helps us feel content with our eating, rather than be left feeling like something is missing or leaving us wanting a little something more.

So how do you identify what is satisfying?

Ask yourself a few questions like:

“What taste sounds appealing?”

“What texture sounds interesting?”

“What smell would be pleasing?”

“What temperature would be enticing?”

“What food would be visually appealing?”

Try making food choices based on the above questions rather than what diet culture has convinced you that you should be eating. Being present, mindful, and in a relaxed/calm environment can definitely help with improving the satisfaction factor too!  

Principle 6: Discover the Satisfaction Factor —> Principle 6: Feel Your Fullness

In order to feel your fullness you have to first be able to honor your hunger, meaning that you eat when you are at an appropriate level of hunger rather than waiting until you are ravenous or hangry. Once our bodies trust us to eat what we actually want we can see what being physically full in a satisfied way is all about (this is know as “satiety” – meaning to satisfy fully). Being able to recognize satiety comes with practice if you’ve been far removed from your natural intuitive eating abilities. But, fear not, if you practice mindful eating by checking in with your hunger and fullness levels before, during, and after eating you can become more familiar with how you as an individual experience physical fullness and satiety. 

Principle 7: Cope with Your Emotions without Using Food —> Principle 7: Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness

Feeling your feels as I call it is totally normal and it’s important to learn how to deal with our feels (emotions). Whether you’re feeling bored, anxious, celebratory, sad, happy, hurt, lonely, mad, etc. remember that all emotions have root causes. It’s also important to remember that food is only a temporary fix for suppressing our emotions; food literally does not have the power to fix how we feel permanently because we have to tackle these emotions at the root cause in order to actually cope with them. So dig deep, with the assistance of a therapist perhaps, to figure out what the root cause for all these emotions really are. Once we are able to identify the cause we are able to determine what we actually need to combat them. Be kind to yourself - take a bath, have a long conversation with a friend, get a full nights sleep, take a day off work, sit outside and soak in the sun, or do whatever makes you feel at ease!

Principle 8: Respect Your Body

Humans come in all sorts of different shapes, sizes, and colors! Therefore, we shouldn’t strive to have the same type of body. Usually when I talk about this principle I show my clients the Poodle Science video. Basically this video shows us that there are different dog breeds and that a starved mastiff can never become a poodle (just watch the video, it’ll make more sense). But, besides that fact that all bodies are different in a multitude of ways it is important for us to realize all the amazing things that our bodies allow us to do. For instance, you may be grateful for your hands because they allow you to write or create works of art – take a second to reflect on what you are grateful that your body allows you to do. Now, next time you have negative thoughts about your body remember what is does for you and speak kindly about it. Help yourself feel good in your body by: wearing well-fitting clothes, dressing comfortably, taking a hot bath, getting a mani/pedi, just do whatever you gotta do to show your body some respect!

Here’s the link for the awesome Poodle Science Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H89QQfXtc-k

Principle 9: Exercise – Feel the Difference —> Principle 9: Movement – Feel the Difference

Movement should make our bodies feel good and bring us joy! It shouldn’t be used as a form of punishment or method of making up for what you’ve eaten. Be mindful of your intentions when you are moving your body, if you are doing it for any reason other than “I just want to,” then don’t do it. Spend time rollerblading in the park, gardening, or reorganizing your crafting supplies; basically just spend time moving your body in a way that is fun and enjoyable! Remember mindful movement doesn’t have to be a rigorous workout or last a certain amount of time and that mindful movement does include taking time to rest when necessary, so be sure to listen to your body and allow it time to recover by taking a break if needed.

Principle 10: Honor Your Health with Gentle Nutrition

Before you’re actually able to lean into the concept of gentle nutrition it is important that you’ve truly embraced the other 9 principles and have a healthy relationship with food. If you haven’t fully rejected the diet mentality and made peace with food this principle could potentially take a turn for the worst and become another diet rule. A common misconception about intuitive eating is that it does not value health, but it does! The principles of intuitive eating are designed to help you discover your inner wisdom and be able to make decisions that best serve you and your body’s needs. Gentle nutrition is all about allowing yourself to enjoy foods in balance, moderation, and variety but in a way that never feels restrictive because you no longer deem foods as good or bad or off limits! Just remember to stay hydrated, eat carbs (fuel our brains), throw in some fruits and veggies (provide us with fiber so we don’t get backed up), add some fats (help our bodies absorb certain nutrients), and call it day! Yes, food is meant to fuel our bodies and what not but that doesn’t mean it’s food’s sole purpose in life. Food is 1000% meant to provide us with joy too!

Well, I hope you found this little breakdown about the 10 intuitive eating principles helpful. If you are still feeling a bit confused or want to know more, I would highly encourage you pick up the newest edition of the Intuitive Eating book and to reach out to a registered dietitian that specializes in Health At Every Size and Intuitive Eating.

Nikki is a registered dietitian licensed in the state of Texas who received her bachelor’s degree in Coordinated Dietetics from Texas Christian University. Nikki’s services include nutrition counseling, coaching, and menu planning. She specializes in treating individuals struggling with eating disorders, disordered eating, and chronic dieting. Utilizing Intuitive Eating principles, Health At Every Size concepts, and non-diet approaches help her clients MEND their relationship with food so they are able to feel more in control of their eating and be free of guilt and shame. She has experience working at the outpatient, intensive outpatient, and partial hospitalization levels of care, primarily with teens and adults. Her hopes are for individuals to be able to achieve a healthy and balanced lifestyle free from diet culture! She is now accepting new clients!

Spring Cleaning

As April hits, I always get an itch to do a little Spring Cleaning. Not just the cleaning around the house, but the mind, body, spirit get-rid-of-all-that-clutter type of cleaning! The kind of cleaning that makes you feel like you can breathe a little free-er and a little deeper. 

Phase 1: De-clutter your house

I am a firm believer that having a clean living space helps a person feel better and more at peace about their life. It doesn’t have to be spotless by any means, but well-kempt and clutter-free. Many people are more stressed, anxious or unhappy when their house is a wreck. Begin with implementing 15 minute cleanups each day. You might want to do one room at a time or one chore at a time—whatever works best for you! The mess may seem overwhelming at first, but eventually you will see positive change as these 15 minute cleanups become part of your daily routine. As for the junk that needs to go, leave a bag in one of your closets. As you come across clothes/toys/gadgets that you don’t want or need anymore, drop it in the bag. Once it’s full, take it to donate!

Phase 2: De-clutter your mind

 Honestly this is something that should definitely be done more than once-a-year, because it is so important to our overall functioning. We must get rid of the mental clutter so we can live a more healthy, happy life. Some steps you can take to do this include:

1)   Jot it down! Start a journal where you can just dump your brain and all the thoughts, fears, and questions that you encounter. Don’t hold back! Sometimes, when I have clients who are journal-resistant, I have them do simple 60 second journal entries. Reminder for all you English peeps out there…a journal is personal. It does not need to include grammatically correct sentences and perfect spelling. It can be a list of words, emotions, or song lyrics or it can just be drawings. Do you!

2)   Forgive yourself. What guilt and shame are you still holding on to? I hate to break it to you, but that junk isn’t doing anything for you. Period. We all mess up, but if we don’t let go, the guilt reeks some pretty crazy havoc in our lives. So give yourself a break, repent and forgive yourself.

3)   Let go of grudges. I just have to ask, “what good is that doing for you?” I’m not saying to be best friends with the person who did you wrong. In fact, you may need to set firm boundaries that include leaving them out of your life. But, let it go. Don’t let the perpetrator have that control over you. It’s a win to simply release the wrongdoing.

4)   Turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Be aware of your negative thoughts throughout your day. For every negative thought you have, you must find a positive thought. If it’s hard to find something positive out of a negative, find something you can be grateful for instead.

5)   Keep it simple. Stop cramming your days full with activities every hour! Ain’t nobody got time for that! If you’re honest with yourself, you don’t even enjoy all the things you’re doing. How can you when you’re busy thinking about the next thing you have to run off to? Give yourself time to stop, breathe and notice the little gifts life daily gives.

Phase 3: De-clutter your body

 What you put into your body affects every aspect of your life. Is there something that you eat or drink regularly that you know without a doubt makes you feel lethargic, foggy-headed, or bloated? It could be alcohol, soda, fried food, or your daily sugar intake overall. If you are having a hard time identifying the culprit, keep a food/drink journal for at least 2 weeks where you can track your intake and your symptoms. Find those triggers and get rid of them! Some of you are thinking, “I know exactly what I need to get rid of” but you’re just not stepping up and doing anything about it. I challenge you to go without that “trigger” for 2 weeks and just see how you feel.  If you notice a positive difference, than it might be beneficial to cut it out completely or at least allow it be a treat every once and awhile. A second step to take in order to de-clutter your body is to drink more water. Most people do not get enough water each day. In fact, the average intake is 3.5 glasses when it should be more like 6-8 glasses depending on your weight and activity level. Water has many benefits—it increases energy levels, flushes out toxins, boosts the immune system, and improves skin complexion just to name a few. Who doesn’t want those things?! Some easy ways to increase your water intake…Take a water bottle to school or work with you so you don’t have any excuses, set an alarm every couple hours to remind you to refill your bottle, and put a glass on your nightstand so that you can drink it first thing when you wake up.

Phase 4: De-clutter your spirit

What is holding you back from experiencing freedom and joy in your inner most being? Is it an object, a negative thought, a person, or a bad habit that’s keeping your spirit weighed down? Or maybe it’s something important like community, quiet time or meditation that is missing because your schedule is too busy to allow for it? If you’re not sure, start a daily mood journal. Put an alarm on your phone to go off to do a check in 3 times each day—morning, noon and night. When you check in, briefly list your current mood and what happened to help you feel that way. Do this for 2-4 weeks to help identify what is encouraging and discouraging in your life. Start and end each day with something that you are grateful for from that day. A little gratefulness goes a long way for our soul!

Detox, De-clutter, spring cleaning—whatever you want to call it—embrace it this month to clean out and make room for more peace, freedom and joy!

Mindfulness

Everybody’s talking about mindfulness these days! As a child I remember being told to be mindful of what I say or do, as in “mind your manners young lady” or “mind where you are going.” That’s about as “mindful” as it got! However, today we hear about being mindful in a whole new way…it’s a state of being that increases our self-awareness and allows us to have more positive experiences overall.

But what really is mindfulness and why is it gaining such popularity? Most definitions will tell you that mindfulness is a mental state achieved by focusing your awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations. In our world today, we are constantly running around from one place to the next, planning for the next week, the next vacation, or the next assignment. We are hardly ever present anymore. All of a sudden it’s Monday morning and we are asking ourselves what happened to the weekend…how on earth is it already Monday? Mindfulness allows you to fully enjoy the present moment by focusing on the here-and-now. It teaches non-judgment and acceptance of what you are experiencing. Naturally your mind will begin to wander, but that’s normal and okay. It teaches gratefulness because you can fully experience the beauty of life around you. It allows you to be fully aware of your negative thoughts so that you can work on integrating more positive thinking. It makes you more conscious of your body and how it responds to stress, pain or excitement, which allows you to make a better mind, body connection, and therefore make healthier choices.

Here are a few simple exercises to increase mindfulness during your week:

Breathing—the first exercise is in breathing. Set an alarm for 3 minutes to begin. (Time will increase as you practice.) Get comfortable and close your eyes. Start to focus on your breath. Notice breathing in and out. If your mind starts to wander, just notice it and bring your attention back to your breath. Do not judge whether or not you should be thinking other thoughts. Continue focusing on your breath until the alarm goes off. This is a great daily exercise to do during your day for a little break. Once you’re comfortable with 3 minutes, start increasing up to 10 minutes.

Another good breathing exercise is the 4-7-8 Breath. Dr. Weil has a great video demonstration on this exercise. You will breathe in through your nose for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts and breathe out through your mouth for 8 counts. Your tongue will be held the entire time at the roof of your mouth, right behind your teeth. The breath in will be quiet. The breath out will be loud. I usually suggest 3 times in a row to begin.  This will help reduce anxiety and induce sleep among many other benefits. 

Mindful Walk—take a walk outside (sans headphones!) Before you begin, take a second to breathe a few deep breaths as you let go of any stress or distraction. Set your intentions and begin to walk at a slightly slower pace than normal. As you walk, take in all the sights, smells, and sounds. Be cognizant of how you feel, how you breathe, how you walk. When your mind begins to wander, just notice it and then bring it back to your walk and the rhythm of your breathing. Once finished, say a prayer of gratefulness for your experience.

Mindful eating—this is a simple exercise that allows you to focus on what you’re eating. First, select a simple food that you want to practice with. This can be a piece of fruit, a cracker, or my favorite, a dark-chocolate covered almond! Remove all distractions such as TV noise or phone. Close your eyes and take your first bite. Notice all the sensations such as the taste, the noise of the biting and chewing, the way it makes you feel. Keeping your eyes closed, begin to savor and appreciate this bite. When you’re ready, take your next bite and continue until it’s finished. As with the previous exercises, just notice when your mind wanders and bring it back to your eating without judging yourself. At the end, reflect on what your learned from the exercise. How did it change your attitude towards eating? What did mindfulness add to your eating experience? For more information and how you can take this a step further, visit our article on emotional eating.

Mindfulness can be difficult at first because we aren’t used to focusing on one thing for an extended period of time. But with practice, you will start to see changes in the way you handle stress, sleep, eat, and view your surroundings. To learn more about mindfulness research and its benefits, visit Greater Good through the University of California, Berkeley. They also have an awesome mindfulness quiz that is based on the Philadelphia Mindfulness Scale that you can take to see just how mindful you are! If you feel like you need more direction in the beginning, there are many mindfulness apps that you can download on your phone. Click here for an article on the best mindfulness apps of 2016. 

Happy breathing!

Beating Emotional Eating

How many times have you eaten that third donut only to regret it minutes after you scarf it down? Or, you think to yourself, “Well, I’ve had a rough day today at work, so I deserve a bigger bowl of ice cream tonight!” So many of us have a hard time with eating to fill an emotional need, and, let’s face it…it’s difficult to stop that habit once you start. The struggle is real y’all! We need some guidance, a little encouragement and a whole lotta accountability to help us make better decisions when it comes to eating.  Ain’t no shame in that! We all need more support in our lives.  

When working with clients who struggle with eating issues, I emphasize balance and mindful eating.  We work on eating intuitively. You can enjoy foods that our culture would deem as ‘unhealthy’ as long as you don’t overdo it. And I promise you will delight in them even more because you won’t feel guilty or upset afterwards. Food is good and is designed to be enjoyed. So, let’s figure out how to do that!

The first step in this process is what I call reflection. It’s when you start thinking about heading to the fridge, pantry, or break room to find something to munch on because that last meeting didn’t go as well as you hoped or your mom just yelled at you, or (insert personal reason here), and you are so dang upset! This is when you need to reflect on your motivation for eating. Are you hungry, or are you eating because you are upset? If you determine that it’s hunger, how do you know? Is it that your stomach growls, you get a headache, or you feel like a zombie because your blood sugar is low? Cultivate that mind/body connection to know how your body is speaking to you. If you cannot determine if it’s hunger or emotion, wait 5-10 minutes and see how you feel. If you are emotionally eating, determine what happened just prior to trigger that desire and write it down. Keep a log of emotional triggers to increase self-awareness and plan ahead for similar events in the future. Have a list of other things you can do to replace the emotional Eat-A-Thon!

After you determine that you are actually hungry, it’s time to practice mindful eating. To practice mindful eating, you need to make sure you’re not doing anything else but eating—no phone, no TV, no work, just plain and simple eating. Enjoy your food and eat slowly. Take pleasure in every bite and be grateful! It’s amazing how much more we can enjoy our food when we aren’t running around or doing a million other things while eating. We might also realize that we don’t need to eat as much because we are satisfied with a smaller amount when we eat at a slower pace.

The third step is the practice of gratefulness. A lot of us say prayers of thankfulness before we eat, but I’m going to switch it up and have you practice gratefulness at the end of a meal or snack. (Or you can do both and just be extra grateful!) The idea behind this is to promote a healthy relationship with food. When you mindfully eat, you will be more likely to not overeat. This is great; however, some of us have developed really negative thought patterns regarding food in general. No matter what we eat, even if we don’t overeat, we still might have an ingrained feeling of guilt. In order to combat this, we practice gratefulness. We replace any guilt or judgment with thanksgiving.

These steps are not the easiest to accomplish on your own! Intuitive eating is a practice that takes time to learn, support from others, and, most importantly, a commitment to YOU. If you need it, I’d love to come alongside and help you make peace with food once and for all. No more fad diets, beating yourself up and feeling guilty after a meal! Can you imagine?

Food and freedom can coexist!